When I was five my father brought home two carpets.
│││ │ ││││ │ ││ │ ││ │││ │ ││││ │ ││ │ ││ │││ │ ││││ │ ││ │ ││ │││ │ ││││ │ ││ │ ││ │││ │ ││││ │ ││
│││││││││││││ ││││ │││││││││││││││ ││││ │││││││││││││││ ││││ │││││││││││││││ ││││ │││││││││││││││ ││
││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││
││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
A A AAAAAAAAAAA AAAA A A AA AAA AAA A
A AA A A A AA AAA AAA AA AA A
A AAA AAA AAA AAA AAAA AAAA AAA AAA A
A AAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAA A AAAA A
A A A A A AA A A A AA AA A AA AA AA A AAA AA AA A
A AAAAA AAAAA A AAA A AAAAA AA AAA AAAAAA AAAAAA AA AAA AA AAAAA A
A A A A AA A A A A AAAAA AAAA A AAAAAAAA A
A AAAAAAA AAA AAA AAA AAAA AAA AAA A
A AA AA A A AA AA AA AA AA AA A
A AAAAAAAAA AAAA AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAA A
A AAA AA AA AAA AA AAA AA AA A A A
A A A AAA AA AA AA A
A AAA AAA AA AAA AAAA AA A A AA AA A
A AAA AA AA AAAA AA AAAAA AAAAA A AA A
A AAA AAA AAA AA A A AAAAAA AAA AAA A
A AAA A A AAAAAA A
A A AA AA A AA AA A AA AAAA A
A AAAAA AAAAA A A A A AA AAAAAAAA A
A A A A A A A AA AA A AA A
A AAA AAA A A AAA AA AAA A AA A AAAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AA AA AA A A AAAAA AAA AAAA AA A AAAA AAA A
A AA AAA AA AA AAAA AAAA A
A A A AA AA A A
A A A
AAAA A A A
A AAA A AA A A
A AAA A AAAA A A AAAA AAA A AAA A A
A AAA A AAAAA A A AAAAAA AAAA AAA A
A A AAAA AAAAAA A AA AA A AAAAA A A
A AAAA AAA A A AA A A AAAA A
A AAAA A AAA AA AAA AA AAA AAAAA A
A AA AA AAA A A A
A AAA AAA A Carpets so large AA AA A
A AAAAAAAAAA that when I laid on top of them it felt as if AAAA AAA A
A AAA A AA I were lying on the sanded beach of a tropical island. AAAAAAAAAAAAA A
AAAAA AAAAA AA A A A
A AA A AAAA A AAAAAA .... AAAAAA AAAAA A
A AAAAAAAAA ..A... ... . . . AAAAAAAA .. ......... AA AA A AA A
A AAA AAA .. .. .. . . AAAAAAAA .. .. AAAAAAAA A A
A A AA AAA A.......... AAAAAAAAAA......... AAA AA A
A AAA ... . ........AAAAAA .......... .....A A A AAA AAA A
A A..... . .....AAAAAAAAAAA ...............AA AAA A
A AAA A A .............AAAAAAAAAAAAAA .. .....A A
AAAA . AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......... A A A
A AA A A AAAA ........AAA. AAAAAAAAAA..AA............ A A
AAA AAA .. AAA..AAAAAAAAAA.. AAA . .. A AA A
A AA AAAA .......AAA...AAAAAAAAAA...AA....... A AAA AA A
AAA AA.... ........AAAAAAAAAAAA AA AAAA AA A AA AA A
A AAA A ...... AAAA..AAAA .......... A A AA A A A
A AA AAAA AAAA . .. ......AAAA..AAAA........... AAAA A
A AA AAA A AAAA .. . . ..AAAA...AAA ..... A AA A
A AAAAAAA AAAA ...............AAA... AAA.............. AA A A AAA AA A
AAA ........... ...AAAA....AAAA . A AAA AAAAA A
AAAAAA AAAAAA AA .................AAAAA......AAA..................... AAAA A
AAAAAA AAAAAA ...................................................... AAAAAAAAAAAA A
AAAA A ............................................................. AA AAA AA AAA A
A AAAAAAA .....................each.end of.yarn.feeling.like........... ... AAA A
A AAAA AAA AA A ......little.grains.pinching.my.skin............... . A A
A AA ...................... ..........................................A . AAAA A
A A A A ...........................│............................ ... A
A AAA ................................│............ .................... A
A ....................................│.................................. A
A AA A ..............................--└─-.............................................. A
A AA A ............A .................../ \................................. A
......................................./ \............................... A
.......... ................/ \..............................A ........... A
...................A ................. =========== ............................ A
A .... AAA ............... ......................... ............. A
................................... ..........................................A
............. ....................... ...................... ...............A
A ...................... ...................................... A
A .................................. ...................................... A
A ........................... ......................................A
A ............................... .....................................A.
A ......................._'───────────────────────────────'.................................A.
A .............................( ' )...............................A.
A .............................│ | '' : '' | │...............................A.
A .............................│,;,,, '' : '' | │...............................A.
A .............................|\@@@@\___________:__________/~~~~~/|...............................A.
A ............................/ ,\@@@@\ | / *** /, \..............................A.
A .........................../_ / ````` | ~~~~~~ \ _\.............................A.
A ..........................( ) | ( )............................A.
A ...........................│|┌───────────────────────────────────┐|│.............................A.
A ~─────┤|│___________________________________│|├─────~ A
A ~/ + +/└─┴───────────────────────────────────┴─┘\+ \~ A
A ~ + @ O --- O o # o O --- O @ + ~ A
A ~/ @ OOO --- O #O# O --- OOO @ \~ A
A ~ + @ OOOO --- ###O### --- OOOO @ + ~ A
A ~/ @ OOOOOO #########OOOOO########## OOOOOO @ \~ A
A ~ + @ OOOOOOO --- ###O### --- OOOOOOO @ + ~ A
A ~/ @ OOOOO --- O #O# O --- OOOOO @ \~ A
A ~ + @ OOO --- O o # o O --- OOO @ + ~ A
A ~/ @ O --- o O o # o O o --- O @ \~ A
A ~ + @ --- o o o o --- @ + ~ A
A ~/ @ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @ \~ A
A ~ + @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ + ~ A
A ~/ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + \~ A
A ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── A
A A
A After years of moving across countries, living in multiple service A
A apartments, purging all our furniture only to repurchase the same A
A particle board Ikea coffee table and couch. Rolled out in our living A
A room, the carpets look out of place, like tuxedo clad guests at a A
A frat party. A
A A
A A
A A
A A
A A
A A
A A
A His intention was for each carpet to be inherited by my sister and I. A
A The beginning of a family heirloom. Continually asking us to pick A
A which one we wanted to have in our grown up apartments once he was A
A gone. A
A A
A A
A A
A A
. AA AA A
A AA AA A
A AA AA A
A AA AA A
A AA AAAAA A
A AAAAAA _m_ _m_ AAAAA _m_ A
A AAAAAA /\___\ /\___\ AAAAAAA /\___\ .
A AAAAAA |_|""| |_|""| AAAAAAAAA |_|""| A
A AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AA AAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AAAAAAAAA _m_ AAAAAAAA _m_ _m_ _m_ _m_ _m_ A
A AAAAAAAAA /\___\AAAAAAA /\___\ /\___\ /\___\ /\___\ /\___\ A
A AAAAAAAAA |_|""|AAAAA |_|""| |_|""| |_|""| |_|""| |_|""| A
A AA AAAAAA AAAAA A
A AAAAAAAAA AAAAAA A
A AAAAAAAAA AAAA _m_ A
A AAAAAAAAA _m_ AAAAA /\___\ A
A AA AAAAAA /\___\AAAAAA |_|""| A
A AAAAAAAAA |_|""|AAAAAA A
A AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA During our short stint in suburbia, A
A AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA my mother started a small garden patch. A
A AA A AAAA AAAAA A
A AA AAAAAA _m_ AAAA _m_ A
A AAAAAAAAA /\___\ AAAAAA /\___\ A
A AAAAAA |_|""| AAAAA |_|""| A
A AAAAAA AAAAA A
A AAAAAA AAAAA A
A AAAA AAAAA A
A AAAAA AAAAAAA _m_ _m_ _m_ _m_ A
A AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA /\___\ /\___\ /\___\ /\___\ A
A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA |_|""| |_|""| |_|""| |_|""| A
A AAAAAAAA A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA A AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AAA | | | AAA A
A AAA \|/ \|/ \|/ AAA A
A AAA \\|// \\|// \\|// AAA A
A AAA \\\|/// \\\|/// \\\|/// AAA She grew varieties of cucumbers and perilla A
A AAA \\\|/// \\\|/// \\\|/// AAA while telling us stories of how her mother A
A AAA \\|// \\|// \\|// AAA was one of ten siblings in her family. A
A AAA \|/ \|/ \|/ AAA A
A AAA | | | AAA A
A AAA AAA A
A AAA AAA A
A AAA | | | AAA A
A AAA \|/ \|/ \|/ AAA All twelve members of the family lived A
A AAA \\|// \\|// \\|// AAA in a large hanok house outside of Seoul A
A AAA \\\|/// \\\|/// \\\|/// AAA A
A AAA \\\|/// \\\|/// \\\|/// AAA A
. AAA \\|// \\|// \\|// AAA with a large garden that grew all the ingredients A
AAA \|/ \|/ \|/ AAA needed for the various banchans. A
A AAA | | | AAA A
A AAA AAA During the sweltering summers the siblings A
A AAA AAA would sit in rooms, breeze blowing through A
A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA papered opened windows, eating cold cucumber salad A
A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and rice wrapped in perilla leaves. A
A .
A A
A A
A A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.=A``
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='`` A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='`` A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='`` A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='`` A
A A
A She described the cascading rooms amongst the sprawling mountain A
A range. The warmth of the aged pine against black roof tiles. A
A A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='`` A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.=A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='A
A A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.=A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.=A
A A
A A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,A
A A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'`A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'`A
A ``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='````'-.,_,.-'``'-.,_,.='``'-.,_,.-'``'A
A A
A A
A After asking why we had never visited, she had told us her grandfather A
A sold the house to insistent developers, ultimately demolishing the A
A 300 year old house to build a shopping mall. A
A A
A A
A A
A A
A A
A Looking at my mothers face, A
A I could see the look of inherited regret. A
A A
A A
A . A
A . . A
A .. A
A .. . .
A .
A A
A .. A
A A
A ..... A
A .... A
A ... A
A . A
A . .. A
A ... A
A Last year my grandparents casually mentioned that their house A
A with childhood photos of my father and his siblings carefully arranged A
A gallery style on the walls, had been gobbled up by mice. A
A A
A .. . A
A .. A
A ... A
A ... A
A .... A
A ..... A
A .... A
A ...... A
A They laughed, now the walls and structure A
A now hollowed out by years of nibbling........... A
A ................ A
A ............... A
A ............ A
A . .... A
A .... A
A ... A
A .. .. A
A A
A A
A A
A AAAAAAA AAA A
A AAA AAAAAAA A
A AAAAA A A A
A AA A AAAAA A AAAAA A
A AAAAAAAAA A A A AA A
A AAA AAA A AAAAAAAAAAA A
A A A AA AAA AAA A
A AAA AA A A A AAAA AAAA A
A A I think of these carpets, AA AAA A
A AAA A AA still sitting in my parents house. A
A AAA A A A A
A AA AA A A AA A
A AAA A A AAA A A
A A AA AAA AA A
A A AAA A
A A A A house they moved into two years ago and will move A
A AAA AAAA out of two years from now. A A
A AA AAA A
A AAAAAAA A AAA AA A
A AAA AAAAAAAAA A
A AAAAAA AAAAAA A carpet that made me feel so large when my five year old AAAA A
A AAAAAA AAAAAA frame laid on top of, AAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AAAA AA yet now the width matches my wingspan. AA AAA AA AAA A
A AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AAAA AAA AA AAAA AAAA A
A AA A AAAA A
A AAA A A Something I can roll up and carry away AAA AAAA A
A AAAA AA from their house into mine. AAA AAAA A
A AAAAA A AAAAAAA A
A AA A AA AA A AAAA A
A AAAAA AAAAA A AAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AAAA A AAAAAAA A AA AA A A
A AAAAAAA A A AA A AAAAAAAAAAAAA A
A AAAA AAAA AA A AA AAA AAA AAA AAAA AAA AAA AAA AAA AAA A
A AA AA AAAA AAAA AAAA AAAA AAAA AA AA A AAA A A A A
A AAA AAA AAA AA AA AA AAAAA AAA AAAA AAAA A
A AA AA AAA AAAA AAAA AAAA AA AAA A
A AAA AAA A AA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAA AAA A
A AAA AAAA AAAA A AAAA A
A AA A A A AAA AA A A AAA AAA AA AA AA AA A A
A AAAAA AAAAA AA A AAAA A AAA AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA A AAAAA AAAAA A
A AA A AA A AA AA A A AA AA A AAAAA A A AA A A A AA A A
A AAAAAAAAA AA A AAA AAAA AAAAAAAA A AAAAAAA A
A AAA AAA AA AAA AA AAA AA AAA A
A AAAA AAA AAA AAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││
││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││││
││ ││││││││ ││││││││││││││││ │││ │││││││││││││││││││││││││││││ ││││││││││││││││ │││││││││││││ ││││││
││ ││ │││││ │││││││ │││ ││││ │││ │││││││││││ ││ ││││ ││││ │││ │││││││││ ││ │││ ││││││││ │ ││ ││ │││